What does he want?

I had this lovely idea. A way to encourage my husband and fill him with confidence and (just the right amount of) ego. I began to write notes to him on the bathroom mirror. And I'd include a Bible verse, too.

You are my hero! Thank you for going out into the world everyday to provide a comfortable, safe, blessed life for us. Love, S.

We are so proud of you. We can't wait to be with you everyday. You make our lives joyful! Love, S, S and J.

You are one sexy man. I am one lucky woman. Love, S.

I did this nearly everyday for weeks. I had an occasional response. Nice. Hmm. Thoughtful. So, I just came out and asked one day.

"What do you think of the notes, sweetie? Do you like them?"

"Well, honestly, Shannon," he answered. "It's kind of psycho. It's like I'm getting these really spooky, Fatal Attraction messages from someone."

Psycho? Someone? I wanted to scream. It had taken time, creativity and tenderness to get up every morning and leave a love note for him to find. Wow. I was stunned. I didn't retaliate or argue or cry or explain. I just stopped.

So, what does he want? If that's not doing it, what will? A friend suggested I read something that might give me a clue. The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Here they are: Words of Affirmation (clearly not my husband's love language!), Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch.

Apparently, we each have a love language, a way (or two) in which we express and feel love. And it seems, we usually try to love in the same language that makes us feel loved. So, one of my love languages is Words of Affirmation.

Now, I'm on a mission to discover my sweetheart's love languages. There is no way he'll just open the book and take the quiz. It's not a scientific process, I'm just winging it. But, we'll see what seems to make him happiest, most responsive.

For Quality Time, I'm going to set up a date night for us this weekend. No kids. No dogs. Just us.

For Receiving Gifts, I'm going to leave him a small, personal gift a couple of times this week.

For Acts of Service, I'm going to make his lunch to take to work everyday.

For Physical Touch, I'm going to rub his feet while he watches television. I'm going to kiss him hello and goodbye, and hold his hand when we are near.

It's clear, I'll be exhausted by week's end. But if he's smiling, so am I.